I have not yet mentioned the other dog that lives in my house. Now the humans have names for us. I am Gretchen and the other dog is Heidi. There's something cute about that I guess. I dont understand that.
We dogs have our own names for each other. They are not really translatable and are not audible anyway.
We have very different personalities. I am more of a dog's dog. Heidi is more a people-dog. Id rather be outside hanging with the other dogs than hanging out with the humans in the house. I prefer outdoors to indoors.
The other dog prefers to be around people and is not real sociable around other dogs.
Im also more active. I want to play ball, chase something, bark at something. She is content to lay on the sofa all day unless there is something going on.
Loyalty to the pack is real strong to us dogs. There is also a strong sense of chain of command. Of course I am the top dog. Thats only natural. I am always the top dog.
Its just who i am.
Someone asked how it is that we dogs are able to always be loving toward our humans even when they are grouchy. Well one thing is, we usually don't actually understand the words they say, so they might be cursing us or praising us. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Also we have a really strong sense of who we are.
We don't get our feelings hurt, and we dont hold grudges. Every minute its a new day.
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17 comments:
boring
I thought the correctional institutions were Cowley County's big economic solution. What happened?
Gretchin,
I need help for I think my owner has gone crazy. I read your posts and find that he seems to do everything wrong. The ball thing bothers me the worst though. He started putting all the used and worn out balls up high so that I can not even reach them. I had one once and know it was old due to it's flavour yet it made him very angry to find me with it. Heck someone named Hank Aaron had even vandalized it by writing his name on it. I was only trying to help in removing the markings on the ball. He even has another ball that he plays with constantly. I don't think he knows how to throw though because my real owner (the little person called Mick) and he both put strange contraptions on their feet and hit it with sticks at one another. They do so on concrete which is blasphamy to me seeing as a ball is best played with in the grass.
I also worry because he seems to think I can fly. We go on long walks in fields, which I love, but he wants me to get birds and not the evil squirrels and pack rats that I so love to find. I find the birds but lose interest quickly because once again I am not Underdog so they escape quickly. I wish he would just allow me to get the dreaded squirrels, I fear their doomsday device nears completion.
Every night when we return home from the large building full of chew toys (I think it is called a hardware store when a far better name would be chewy things) we split my daily burger and frys while he watches a dreadfully boring thing called the news. I prefer when he watches sports but once again am bothered with the misuse of balls. Back on topic he reads some very cruel things about himself on here on some nights and always laughs out loud. How can he laugh when this very distasteful person Anonymous says such mean things? I know Anonymous is a person because as you know we dogs have far more tact than that.
Any how thank you for your writings it shows that we dogs are finally getting equallity with our masters. Now if only we can gain equal pay and our share of the stimulous check then I will be very happy.
Your faithful reader,
Goon the hardware dog
p.s.- He even allows one of the dreaded cats to live in my home. She is evil I know it. Please send help soon.
Hey Zach, why don't ya give a story from the cats point of view. To the first poster. It is not boring. It is light hearted and I get sick of deep topics all the time! JJ, post the dogs point of view all ya want!
My cat is evil and she curses too much. Haha. I'll give it a try when I have more time.
K, great! LOL! I would give it a try, cuz I have a few cats and dogs, but not a great storyteller! I absolutely love animals and believe they are %100 essential to our well being!
I don't know why anyone would want a cat's point of view.
They have no view. They are cats !!
Okay, I have decided to get in the spirit of things and post from my dog's point of view...
"Yum.. (lick lick).. balls!"
CATS RULE, DOGS DROOL!
Time for retaliation. We have a class action law suit against Cartoon Network already and are now adding Gretchen to the list! The slander we cats take on a daily basis. We are neither stupid nor evil, though we do come from the middle east and a few of us are working on a major dog jihad. I mean look at these posts dogs are so stupid they actually care what the humans think. How smart are you Goon, they make you pee outside and when you don't, your nose gets rubbed in it. I actually like that part of dogs. I just wish he would pee indoors more often. But back to the lawsuit. Tom, Top Cat, Sylvester, these are supposed to represent our species? And look there is always a bully dog to bring missery to their lives and the humans all laugh. It is a disgrace I tell you! And don't even get me started on human activity. Police dogs!where are the drug cats? We can actually fit into the crawl spaces the criminals hide there wares in but no the humans would rather have a beast that sniffs butt for hours on end every day. No wonder the crime rate is so high. Ever notice Hong Kong Phooey got it right? The cat saved the day every time. I somewhat like that cartoon other then it should be called "Cat Cop". Well I fear the mutt and his two legged companion will be arriving home soon so I must go knock over all the picture frames, shed my fur on the mans favorite black t-shirts, leave something enticing in the litterbox to get the dog yelled at for eating, and drink alot of water. Sometimes if I pee on the floor then the dog gets blamed and still gets his nose rubbed in it.
Death to all dogs and their supporters,
Dinah the barely calico cat
Ok dinah
me and you. noon, Summit and Central
weapons at 20 paces
I know a dog that can give you directions
Just like a dog, always resorting to violence.
LOL! You guys are so funny! Don't forget that cats were once considered a higher power and were worshipped in Egypt!
I like this Jamie person. I think I will keep her when we finish our global domination. I may even let her sleep on my giant pile of socks.
Yea and where is this great Egyptian civilization today?
Gone to the DOGS!
Here's one for ya Dinah! Don't worry Gretchin, I love dogs too!
"Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat." - Mark Twain
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