The Schnauzer View, day two

There have been a few ordinances about dogs in the papers lately. Maybe humans are surprised that dogs read and write. Well, what do you think we do all day? We do maintain a vigilant watch for trespassers, but that still leaves some time to pick up the paper now and then.
Ive still not learned to use the remote that makes the talking box talk. I think they call it the tv.
Anyway. I thought I would tell you what the dogs think.

At least I understand these ordinances would also apply to cats. Well thats just being politically correct. Cats are very unruly and need lots of guidance. I guess they are making rules for us dogs - that don't really need them - just so cats dont feel so bad.
First there is dog licensing. Pulleeeeeeze. If I do get outside and run free, I know my way home and Ill go there when I am good and ready. Word also travels fast among dogs. We can pass a bark message all the way across town in just a few minutes.
Sometimes humans think we start barking for no reason. No, its usually to pass along a bark message. Telepathy only goes so far.
Of course I know about that cocker spaniel running loose on C Street. She is just having fun, leave her alone. She will go home when she wants to.
Most of us also know how to stay out of the street and out of the way of those cars that don't seem to be able to control themselves.
Maybe its the humans that need licensing.
I like riding in cars though, except when we go to the vet.

Oh but I guess what they decided is ok. I know there are some dogs not as intelligent as me. They might need some help in getting back home. But humans need to try to understand us better. Sometimes its not that we are lost, sometimes we just want to go somewhere else to hang out for awhile. Its like a vacation. And there are always new and interesting things to smell. I don't know why humans don't appreciate smell more.
I did appreciate the tethering ordinance. Tying us up is just mean. Thats why we get mean and grouchy. Having to wear a collar is bad enough. Adding a chain to that is just un-canine.
I see that there is also a limit on the number of dogs that can live at a house. I dont understand that. A limit on cats i understand. But, why would humans ever think there were too many dogs?

Now I understand the police chief wants a drug dog. I think thats a fine idea. We dogs do have abilities that humans could better utilize.
But i dont understand why they don't consider a Schnauzer for a drug dog. We have just as good of a nose. We dont take up as much room, we don't eat as much, and we are quicker and more nimble. Schnauzers also have a longer life expectancy, so we would be able to stay in the field longer on the job.
Some might argue that at 18 pounds, I might not be able to subdue a criminal as well as 100-pound lab might. yea yea. Have you ever seen me attack anyone? There's no animal as tenacious as I am. And I can subdue people by barking for hours on end without stopping.
You know how silly labs can be. I used to live with one. I had her wrapped around my little toe.
Don't even get me started about German Shepherds. Im German you know.
I just think the chief should consider a Schnauzer.

Well ive done the dog song with my dog neighbors this morning. Ive checked the borders. Ive had breakfast and a snack. Its time for a nap.